Trump of the North

Trump of the North

Canada will be the 51st State. The biggest state, the best state, frankly the coldest, and everyone is saying it.

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50 states One is missing Every post signed TPH

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TPHTrump of the North @trumpofthenorth Sep 30

EXECUTIVE ORDER for the 51st State. Every hockey rink must pause at intermission so the ref skates to center ice and reads my record setting numbers into the mic. Fake News wouldn't. The referee will. Beautiful.

TPH

TPHTrump of the North Sep 28

I will admit it, the 51st State has one weakness. A security camera pointed at a doughnut display pulls stronger ratings than Joe Scarborough. Nothing we can do, the man got beat by a pastry sitting still. Sad for MSDNC!

TPH

TPHTrump of the North Sep 28

BREAKING. A zamboni driver in Regina just picked up a SECOND shift. Never happened in Canadian history. Employment numbers exploding up there and I have not even annexed them yet. Wait until the 51st State paperwork clears the desk.

TPH

The Oval Office, North

Sign an executive order. Sign another one. Nobody is stopping you.

Trump of the North Executive Order of the 51st State No. 0001

By the authority vested in me by the incoming 51st State, every hockey rink is hereby declared TREMENDOUS. It is going to be HUGE.

TPH

The platform

Six promises. All of them tremendous.

Statehood, day one

Fifty stars is an awkward number. Fifty one is a beautiful number. Everybody agrees.

Syrup reserves

Strategic. Enormous. Guarded by the toughest people you have ever seen.

The border comes down

One line, gone. Drive straight through. People will not believe how straight.

The cold stays

Other places have weather. We have character. Nobody is touching the cold.

Moose protection

Bigger than a deer. Much bigger. Frankly the greatest animal in North America.

Tim Hortons forever

The double double is untouchable. This is not up for negotiation.

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